The Official Olivia vs Voldemort Commentary
by jb wife 4eva
Summary: In January of 2014, a terrible tale plagued the Internet by the name of Olivia vs Voldemort, a troll fic that has many a time been compared to My Immortal. I, the actual creator, have decided to mock the horror myself. Rated T for swearing and horribly misspelled words.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: H****ello, all! Welcome to the official _Olivia vs Voldemort _commentary! Yes, I actually wrote the crap I'm making fun of today (if anyone wants to read the original, go to my profile and see how long you can last the horror), and I hope you enjoy the commentary! **

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Harry Potter. I do however own Olivia vs Voldemort *sobs***

hey guys this is my 1st fanfiction ever ***laughs to self* more like, 17th! **so be nice! !''1! Also, thank my bff Rebekka 4 editing this for me. **Bekka deserves to be shot.**

HelloMy name Is Olivia Dawn Jessalynn Isabella Moonlighte BIEBER** And so the horror begins** (I totally luv him!) **Gag me with a spoon **I have super long blonde hair** Seriously over half the popular girls at my school** that ends at my waist, that looks like a waterfall of liquid gold and ppl tell me that is is rlly cute! I also have really blue eyes that look like Lake Superior** MICHIGAN PRIDE! ** (cuz I'm better than everyone else lol)** *sighs*****  
**

I am really tall like problly 6 feet tall **I was so disappointed when nobody called this one out **and I am SO POPULAR LIKE OMG** I-I can't even... **. AND ALL THE GUYS WANT TO DATE ME CUZ I AM **ALMOST AS FUGLY AS THEM **SO PRETTY!

Today I walked into school after my mom dropped me off at the school (,like I would take the gross buses)** To be fair, our buses are disgusting. Someone once drew a penis in one of them**. Oh yeah, did I mention me and my friends go to the same school as harry potter?

I met my bff lesa** Meet Mary Sue #2!** by the math class and we walked to class. Just before I walked in I saw a really hot blonde** Hiding something from us, eh Draco? ** guy who was wearing a Hollister shirt, and jeans from American Eagle . I knew he was popular right away ***facepalms***. His hair was gelled and he looked just like Niall ***sighs* I'm not going to even get started on this one **. He looked up at me and said "My Name is Dragon. Dragon Malloy." **FAAAAAAAIL! **

So what did you think? **I think maybe this was the shittiest thing I've ever written **Do you like it! **Aw, hells no**TELL ME PLZ I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER! Btw lesa is based on rebekka my bff i love u girl

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed the commentary! Don't forget to drop a review, I'd love to hear what you all thought! **

**Also, if you yourself wish to what your own Olivia vs Voldemort commentary, I give you full permission, just send me a link so I can read it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I just am so excited about this fic, so I decided to update again!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

A/N: screw u! I am not a troll! I AM PRETTY **UGLY **EVERY GUY AT MY SCHOOL WANTS TO **SHOOT ME **DATE ME IM POPULAR SO HOW CAN I BE UGLY LIKE A TROLL! And I can write just ask rebekka thank u 4 the GOOD review unlike SOME people.

I smiled at him "Hi Draco my name is Olivia Dawn Jessalynn Isabella Moonlighte Bieber! "***summons Ronald Weasley as my spirit animal* Bloody hell. **

He smiled at me "U r really hot. We should totally go on a date!" **Cuz, ya know, looks are the only thing that matters in a relationship. **

"Where at?" I flirted

How about the mall** Everybody come and play, throw every last care away, _Let's go to the mall, today._**he said to me

"yES" I Screamed happily and I kissed him ON THE LIPS** RANDOM CAPS LOCK**. He was so hot. ***le sighs***

I walked over to Lesa and she looked at me** Anyone else picturing some awkward scene from a romance movie? **. Lesa is like super pretty** Lelivia ** and she's really popular** Attractiveness and popularity. The only things that count in romantic relationships and friendship when you are perhaps the most shallow person in the world **and she has really dark brown hair that looks like chocolate **MaRy SuE **and her eyes are the exact same. Her teeth looked really quite** disgusting ** today.

"I have a date with Draco Maoriy **Where the hell did that come from? **!" I cheered .she smiled "iheard **. I Wuz rite behind u THE WHOLE TIME**. Everyone is talking about it!"** Even though it literally happened seconds previous. **

"Well, its because we are popular, duh Lesa!" I said. She laughed . **Q: Why did Lesa laugh when Olivia said the were popular? A: Because it was such a joke. **

Class began and I said "oh my god** I really hate to say this, but that is how I begin the majority of my sentences. So maybe that was my fault. Godflam it, I should have just started the damn sentence like OMG. ** look at those nerds HERMIONE AND LUNA **HEY LOOK ITS ME!**."

Lesa scowled. I laughed when luna answered a question** that my tiny little brain was unable to process anyways** "those stupid nerds** PARADOX!**"

I laughed hardly ***laughs at stupidity* **. Then we heard our best friend megan **Meet Mary Sue #3! **and walked away.

So, how was that **It sucked **TELL ME

**A/N: In all seriousness though, please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's a new chapter for you all!**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter; still not mine. OVV: still mine.**

We walked over to megan. She was talking 2 our other friend alexis **Mary Sue #4**. Ppl like luna and herminee **I forgot to mention last chapter for those of you who just a reading this, I inserted myself and my best friend in the story as Luna and Hermione** (that's how you spell her name rite? **No****pe. Not in the slightest **She's such a weirdo nerd** Excuuuuuuuse me?**) say that megan looks ugly **it's because she is **, but THEY MUST JUST BE **RIGHT** JEALOUS BECAUSE WE ARE OBVIOUSLY **UGLY** PRETTY OTHERWISE WE WOULDN'T SEND NUDE PICS **whores **AND MEGAN WOULDN'T HAVE MORE THAN ONE BOYFRIEND **whore **HM?

Oh yeah I didn't tell you about our boyfriends! All 4 of us have boyfriends ***sighs***. I am dating Seamus **poor boy **, Megan is dating CeDric diggory** you don't deserve this Cedric. You have the worst of luck ** (r patz is soooo hot isn't he?) **Robert Pattinson is actually quite cool. He's really redeemed himself since he became the biggest Twilight hater. **And Crabbs **poor boy** . And alexis is dating Goyle** poor boy**. Lesa wants to **get a nose job, oh sorry, we were talking about the poor boys weren't we?**. Go out with harry potter **Run Harry. R****un like the wind.** because he is so freaking hot **shallow birch** and has really awesome and he plays football AND soccer . **OH WOW. **

Alexis is super **UGLY **pretty too, like Megan (even though Megan wears glasses **there's nothing wrong with glasses!**) Alexis has really long pretty curly blonde **WHERE ARE THE COMMAS? **hair and it makes me so jealous! She has a really long nose **she really does ** though, and is WAY 2 pale **there's a sparklepire in our midst**. Megan is super pretty too, and she also has blonde hair **I'm noticing a trend**, but it's more like dirty blonde **oh wow, what diversity!** and she always ties it up and is pretty and everything, but she has glasses and is a bit fat **I had a bit too much fun with that **(im sorry, I had to say that otherwise people would say your name was mary Sue and that is so gross! **lyke totally!**)

I'm going to go on a date with Draco malfot **and that is...?** !" I exclaimed to them

"You are?" Alexis gasped. **Don't worry, everybody! This won't be the last time you see that word! After all, every good troll had this hidden in there at least 20 times!**

"But wait!" Lesa interupted **uhmyGAWD, Lesa, you just have to go to interrupt everybody!** "you are dating Seamus!"

"You could date both of them suggested Megan "I date 2 guys and it's just fine." ***gigglesnort* not for long **

"Should I?" I asked

"Yes!" Alexis cried **Listen to the voice of reason that is Alexis!**

"NO!" Lesa shouted loudly **Jesus Christ, take a chill pill Lesa oh my god **, making everyone jump **just look at what you've done Lesa **"you need to break up with Seamus right now! " **Yes Mother.**

I sighed. This sucked. J**ust like you Olivia!**

By the way, I googled harry potter last night 4 more info and I need help **we all knew that dearie ** with houses 4 livi and her besties. i think they should be gryffindirs **?** because we are all HOT. ** Ravenclaws aren't that bad either...*strikes pose* but I don't want you in my house, go away!**

**A/N: So that was all. Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Sadly.**

I was so sad **So much emotion**. I had to break up with Seamus.i thought we'd be 2gether 4eva **Idiot**. I was so sad **Yo****u _just_ said that.**

I went t To potions class **Snape would be ashamed** (that's a class from harry potter right? **N****o, Snape obviously must be teaching pre algebra**)and saw Seamus. I gasped _**Ag**__**ain?**_. HE WAS FLIRTING WITH THAT SLUT** Well, it takes one to know one, sweetie.** CHO CHANG **I guess that was really skipped over in canon **AND IT WAS DISGUSTING **JUST LIKE MEE** BECAUSE SHE SUCH A SLUT **JUST LYKE ME! ** OMG!

"SEAMUS!" I YELLED. **L****ooks like somebody's upset**

"Hey Livi what's up? " **H****e sounds so casual with the fact his girlfriend is yelling at him****This must happen lot. And I'm not surprised one bit.**

"Ur cheating on me **uh,** **I don't think he is...** with cho Chang! It is OVER! " **W****e are never, ever, ever, getting back together! **I stormed out of. Potions. I was so mad and dad ** my life has been a lie ** I can't believe he cheated on me **probably because he didn't **he said he. Loved. Me **sometimes men lie. And he must have been lying when he said he loved you ** and everything and he looked just like Justin beiber **Sweet baby Jesus **!

I went to my room, sobbing **shocker**. I couldn't believe it **Y****ou said this a million times already, Olivia, it's getting old **. I was socked ***giggles***. Lesa cane **N****ot going to even comment** into my room to see how I was doing but I couldn't talk. This was the WORST day of my LIFE. **Ar****e you sure about that one dearie?**

MY BOYFRIEND WAS. CHEATING IN ME **Ah,**** this has some sort of personal connection** I CAN'T BELIEVE IT OMG SHE'S NOT EVEN PRETTY **but she looks better than you though. Anyone want to take bets? ** SHE IS SUCH A WANNABE **so not like you _at all_ ** I HATE HER SO MUCH **B****ut not nearly as much as I hate you!** UGH. What ever im so much hotter than her anyway **Yeah right**. What did you think of this chapter **it blows **tell me PLZZZZZ

**A/N: Well, you heard her, go review PLZZZZZZZZZZ. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: And here, chapter four begins.**

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. I own Olivia vs Voldemort.**

**...I think we should trade.**

Im so bummed bout NY **Why is New York getting dragged into this? **boyfriend...it should i say EX BOYFRIEBD! **I think you should say EX BOYFRIEND. That'd make more sense **FCK U HUNNER **Whoa there! **I AM NOT A DIIFIKULT PERSON TO BE WITH **Anyone willing to place bets against her** OMFFG SCREW U **Well that was rude.**

I was so upset about Seamus cheering on me **Ugh, don't you hate that? Especially when they get out the pom poms... **with that slut, cho chang **Okay, what did Cho do to you?** but whatever now I could do on the date with Draco **You don't even sound upset anymore.** and not fate two boys **to a miserable existence WITH MEE.**.. I went to go to change **This is the part where she describes her clothes. While that's all good for her, its torture for the rest of us**.I put in a pink tee shirt from Aeropostale and some bling jeans. It was all low cut and stuff. I know it makes me sound slutty but im not. **Whatever helps you sleep at night.****  
**

I saw akexis and lesa at the bottom of the stairs. They gasped . **Probably because your boob just popped out or something.**

"OH MY GOD LIVI YOU ARE SO HOT!"they screamed . ***facepalm***

"Thanks guys. " iblushed. **Oh, _shut up, _you're enjoying the attention! **I was so ready for this dare **This makes me think of truth or dare. **Luke totally! vvv **What the hell is going on with the random vs?****  
**

I took the train to the mall. Draco wad there. **  
**

"hey livi." He said happily** It must be an act.**

"Hey sexy,ll I flirted. **YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY. FOR ALL YOU KNOW, HE COULD BE WATCHING YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT.**

"Let's go to HOLLISTER." ** THE CATCHPRASE OF THE STORY, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.**

**A/N: Once again, I have very little to do except to remind you to review because it brightens my day. So, yeah, please review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I only own Olivia vs Voldemort.**

OMG i am totally gunna win my bf back guyz** *summons Hermione as my spirit animal* It's not going woooooork!** thered this party so imma flirt with all the boys ther so hell get jealous!1 ***chuckles* Have fun. **wish me luke! **I wish you Luke. Sorry, Luke.**

Draco and i went 2hollister. It was crowded With a bunch of people and stuff ** How very descriptive. I can see it now... **. Them, i saw a pear **They sell those at Hollister?** of THE PERFECT JEANS **Oh boy**. THEY WEre simple but so totally stylissh **TOO. MUCH. VALLEY GIRL.** and I wanted them SO BADLY.

"omg, draco look at these jeans. They are perfect!" I gaped, grabbing them **Those poor jeans**. They felt soft, like silk. **Um, if they feel like silk, then those aren't jeans.**

"I'll buy them for u LiVI,"HE SAID HAPPY **I-I'm not even gonna get into this-**

"What really!"I stateed.

"Yeah. My parents are loaded. With money." **Oh, silly me. I thought were loaded with animal crackers! What the hell else would they be loaded of?** He added sexyily.**Cuz guyz hoo r hawt r rilly rixh!**

YAY YAY YAY I LUV I DRACO! ***rolls eyes heavenward*** I screamed. It was the best date ever! **Not for him. At least, I'm willing to bet. Most guys don't like shopping for clothes with women.**

UNTIL LUNA HERMIONE AND TUMMY **MY CLAIM TO FAME RIGHT HERE!** RUINED IT. **That whole sentence was ruined by Tummy. Like, I can't take a sentence with the word tummy in it seriously. "657 are dead, 321 are missing, 290 are injured and 4 are suffering from tummy injuries."**

**...am I demented?**

we went to Under amrour (draco wanted to get this one shirt **Good for you, Draco. Get a shirt for yourself. Enjoy this terrible date.**)when we bumped into my new bff MADIson, but we call her maddy. anyway she was buying some clothes there.

"Ohmfg, livi hermione ginny andLuna are talking about me! **THE HORROR! **bbc **is amazing**" she cried.

"Dunt worry," i voews "well find them." **WTF?**

I fragged draco **You did WHAT? **with me TLC that store weher all the weird people go Hot topic **EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME?** and there they were.

"Ugh, they don't have anything with Fluttershy on it!" Ginny complained, as she looked through the my lotte pony sextjon. **The sexjon. What the hell is a sexjon? It doesn't sound good?**

"OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU LOSERS TALKING ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND MADDY." I yelled loudly in the store. Everyone stared at me.** Well, yeah. You just burst in randomly and screamed.**

"You mean," Ginny said, not fazed in the slightest "why is Maddy being such a bitch?" **TEN POINTS TO MISS WEASLEY!**

"Listen, Olivia," Luna said calmly, picking up a NERDY GEEKY **Bit redundant, don't you think?** T shirt "we really have no business with you or your friends. So, please leave and let us fangirl."**  
**

Hermione began backing away "Besides, Olivia, I would prefer if you were to keep a distance. If I stand too close, I may catch one of your STDs." **ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR MISS GRANGER!**

I gapesed "U BIRCH." **And here's my second great accomplishment in this story.**

"Lets go, olivia," draco sneered **Getting back into character, are we, Malfoy? If so, TEN POINTS TO SLYTHERIN** "we dint need to hang out with three UNPOPLAR **Not Draco...** MUDBLOODES. **FIFTY ****POINTS TO SLYTHERIN FOR GOING BACK INTO CHARACTER! But a reduction of 40 for using that word. **"

That's when Ginny sent a Bat Bogey Hex at Draco **WOOHOO**. i gasped **Is that all you do?**

**A/N: Thanks for reading the chapter! Remember to please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Fun Fact: When I wrote this chapter (originally), I almost pissed myself because I was laughing so hard.**

**Disclaimer: I only own Olivia vs Voldemort. **

omgg I CANNOT BELIEBE **Oh sweet Lord, NO** justin was arrested ommg i luv him ***gags*** hes still my hero **Justin Bieber is a spoiled little brat who needs to get his act together or else he'll get deported, Canada won't want him, he'll end up in prison,and then they'll drop him in the ocean. Or at least they would, if we lived in a perfect. **so i dont care luv I justin **Ewwww!** I wiol alwaz suupurt u no matter wht. **Kay, this idiot can pee in a mop bucket and graffiti a wall and all I'll say is he's an idiot. But when this ass tries and makes visiting Anne Frank's house and tries making it about him, he's a disrespectful jackass. Okay, rant/speech over.**

DRACI HAD 2 GO 3 THE HOSPITTLE **I don't even know what to say** ! I was so mud** *giggles*** at those THREE LUZERZ **EXCUSE ME? **. I wented 2kill them **That escalated quickly. **but da hozpittlw wudnt let me **What is this mysterious phenomonom? Is it...common sense? In this story? **nd swd id go to JAIL LIKE JUSTON.**Dun dun DUN!**

(luv u justin wif all my hart) **WHY?****  
**

Once drCo left the hosptile, we decided to go 2 daey quin** Translation: Dairy Queen.**

WE CLIMBED ENTO **that sounds like a name you'd find for a Greek monster** DRAKOS car. **Pffffft, like Malfoy would buy a MUGGLE product. No. Just no.**

"livi," he sed quitely **Quite what?** "i...i luv u **YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER A DAY. I FEEL LIKE KRISTOFF TRYING TO REASON WITH ANNA**. Ur so hawt **cuz ya kno,only looks matter in a relationship**, and perty and u jave a lot of $." **Filthy golddigger. **

"Aw I luv U 2!" I tld him! **YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER- oh, screw it.**

He started driving down the rd back 2 school. Suddnely...he kissed me! PASSIONATELY! **Oh, WOW.**

**Fun fact: No where is it said that they are having sex. I'm too innocent to write that sort of thing, so I just pictured them staring at each other.**

"Oh, Draco!" **Another fun fact: This whole thing is all based on an inside joke. Maybe I'll explain it sometime. Just not today. I'm too tired.****  
**

"Oh, Livo!" **If you ever get bored, just read this part out loud dramatically and try not to laugh. Okay, I'm done now *sneaks into my lonely little corner of blankets and food***

"If, Draco!"

"Oh, LIVi!"

"OH, DRACO. K

"OH livi"

"Oh, Draco!"

"Oh, Livi"

"DRACO I LUV U!"

"No, dlivi, i luv yu!"

"But draco, i live u!"

"No, livi i-"

Sirensly, there was A thump. Draco slammed on the breaks briskly. **My favorite part of the whole story right there, folks. Except maybe the last chapter. That was great.**

IT WAS SNAPE, the ugly greasy positioned teacher **Like yoga positions? **. He smaked his hand on the windosheild.

"WHAT THE DAMN HELL **Tsk, tsk, Snape. **, U MOTHERFUCKERS? **Does somebody have a headache? **GET INTO MY OFFICE! NOW!" **OOOOOOOHHHH! They're in trouble!**

**A/N: Reviews are much appreciated, and thanks again for reading' (I feel the need to be insanely polite because I terrorized you all for so long. And because I'm a nice person.)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This is the point where I believe my evil counterpart "Britney" (which you are allowed to call me, in case you are unsure how to refer to me) officially butchers the English language. If you thought it was bad before, know it gets worse from here on out.**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Yet. *maniacal laughter***

AN I AM NUT A TROLL! I AM SUPR PRETTY **So you say. But do we have proof?** U WLD ALL B SO JEKLY **Pardon? **IF U SAW ME INN REAL LIFE **Trust me when I say you don't want to meet this girl in real life.** I HINESTPY CLD BE A FCKIN SUPERMODEL ***coughs* BULLSHIT** JF I WANTED TO I WAS IN FCKIN BEAUTY CONTEST **and didn't win **AND DID A MODDLLIN JOB FOR SUM HEAR PLACE **and it sucked** IM PRWTTY SO HOW CAN IB A TROLL? ?! **Someone is clearly new here... **anyw thanks gor GUD reveiws

((

Snap raped ***picks up phone and frantically dials 911* **angrily ento hisboffice. **Pardon me, what was that? Sounds like a company that sells crackers.**

"Sit. Downe." he rasped. We all sat. **I can feel the tension.**

"What th HELL DUD U THENK U WER DOIN **"Abuzin the english language!"** U CLD HAVE KILLEDNE!" **He does have a point.**

Everyone wld be happy if u wer dead, ," I told him. **Rude. I wouldn't be happy. In fact, I cried when he died.**

"Escuse ME? DRTENYION." **Translation: Detention.**

"What abut ne?" Drako **Why, hello Ebony, did you hijack the keyboard?** muddered

"DETEGNRIN 4 U 2, MISGTER MORIARTY!" **Any Sherlock fans in house catch this reference?**

He kiked **Social Snape!** us out and we siyed. This SUCKEDm **M? What does M stand for? **

"Gey, Lixi,"** That literally made NO SENSE.** draco proklainwd "les SKIP." **Rebel.**

"KEN **and BARBIE! **we? " i ashed **Not Pokemon. Don't drag Ash into this.**

"Ya. I have," he rised hiz wyebroos ***laughs hysterically at the misspelling of eyebrows* **"KONECTIONZ." **Well aren't you a hot shot?**

that nite i went 2 bed **OMG, really? **nd i had a drem dat my tunmy **I think she has an obsession with stomacha.** was hug and i luked **Not again. Stop getting Luke involved with this nonsense. **FAT . U woke up **Don't tell me how to live my life Olivia! **and told megan lesa and lexis abut it.

"U wernt fat, livu,"lesa sed logicall **Lesa? Logical? *laughs hysterically*** "dat mwan u r PREGNANT." **How'd you get this one, Lesa? **

I GAPED. DID DRACP GET ME PREGANT? **Someone obviously never got the talk about the birds and bees.**

WHAT DID U GUYS THINK IS SHE PREGNAN OR WHAT TLL ME WUT I THINK **I think I want to chuck a brick at you.****  
**

**A/N: Thank you all again for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. OVV is, however, mine.**

U BUCKETIPPERS **Translation: Bucketdippers. This is a phrase used at my school, in a mocking manner. Means bully. This is because when we were in fourth grade, they rrad us a story as an antibullying message, and they referred to bullies as bucketdippers. Moving in.**! Y R U BEIN SO MEAN! IM NOT GUNNA STOP RITING! **Oh, what a shame. **By the wae thanks 2 rebekka 4 editing 4 m gurl.

I WAS SO NERVOUSE LYKE OMGG. **Well, that gave us a lot of information. **I CPULDNT BELIEVE I WAS PRENANT. **SPOILER ALERT: She's not pregant.****  
**

i knew o had 2 tell draco. It wuz the rite thing 2 do. **Since when are morals a high priority of hers.**

But megan told me 2 takw a prengancy test 1St , so i went 2 the drugstore in town with Alexis.**  
**

On or way 2 the drugstore alexis and i saw...HERMINEE.** WOO WOO!**

"WTF WHAT R U DOING HERE!" I YELLED **Well, thats rude!** out the windo.

Hermione said nothing, but rolled her eyes **Hmm, that'd be my reaction** and promptly flipped US OF. **And that'd be my response if I was really mad**

"I BITCH!"** Yes you are! Good job, Alexis! *hands her a poisoned cookie*** alexis yelled madly.

"Yes," Hermione agreed "You ARE a bitch!" ***high fives Hermione***

We GASPED. **Again.**

I tried to het hemione with the car **Rude.** but lexis persuasdes me not 2, we had 2 her the prego rest. **Translation: Prego test. Have to make sure the spagetti tastes good.**

After Ed bought it I put it in my mouth nd ate it. **WAIT WHAT SHE ATE IT?**

"If youre puke is green **Ewwww...**, ur pesto **Pesto? I figured I'd still be human, even if I was pregnant**, "aldxis read of the box. "If it red, ur not."

We wated about 15 minues nd den i gagged **EEEEEEEWWWWWWEEEEEEEWWWW!**. Iquked...and IT WAS GREEN. **Ooh, she's PREGGERS **I WASN'T PREFABRICATED! **Yeah. Your pregnant.**

YAY YAY YAY **What's wrong with being prefabricated? **

so wat dud**ley Dursley** u think of it TELL **Rather demanding, aren't you? **the u better b happy im upstaging this **We can tell** in class wth my iphone I hopw im not caught **I actually updated on snow days, but in case anyone was suspicious, I added this **lol.

**A/N: I apologize for this chapter, this was, by far, not my best chapter. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:**

Y R U SO MEAN 2 ME **I have a list, but I don't think we have time for that **I THOT U LIKWD ME **It's clear that you've been deluded this entire time.** EVERY1 LIKWS ME **No everyone...** WXCEPT 4 LUZERZ LIKE HUNNER **The ex boyfriend, for those of you who have forgotten** AND THAT SLIT **Now what'd the slit do to you**. I M SO BEUIFUL ILL PROBLY B A SUPERMODEL **Keep dreaming **AND ILL HAVE ALOT OF $ **Because money is _everything_** SO SUK ON THAT ULL B SORRY **How will we be sorry...you're operating under a penname**. thanks rebekka 4 editing again, **Bekka, you suck as an editor. And as a friend if you continue telling her that this is actually good.**

"Gess what guyz im not preggers **Well, thank God. **i nonced to megan and Lesa.**Interesting piece of information: Turns out that the real life Alexis hates the real life Lesa. Now that I know her a lot better, I've gained more respect for her.**

"YAY THAT WOLD SUCK IF U WER PREGANT CUZ THEN UD GET FAT AND **YOUD GIV BIRTH TOO THE ANTICHRIST **WE CUDNT BE FRENDS ANYMORE **Okay, you don't just dump a friend because they get fat.**."they cheered.

"Omfg guyz im going out with harry fuxking potter now!" Less said **GAWD DONT TAKKE THE SPOTTLITE OFF LIVI, LESA**, batting her eyelashds flirty. **Lelivia subtext right there. She wants to make her jealous.**

"OMFG GURL THATS AWRSOME!"

"I went to go 2 the mall and celzaberaye," **Because that's where you always go.** mwgan said "let's go to ABERCROMBIE ND BITCH **That was not a typo. I meant what I wrote**!"

"YEZ!L

I WEnt up 2 my room to change. I wuz wearing a lacey pink thong ***makes face* TMI** with frilly stuff in it and a bra ***panics* TMI, TMI! **. Suddnez the wax a nois in the closest. **"Aw, goddammit, Lesa, did you summon Satan _again_? I thought I told you to stop drawing pentagrams in the fucking closet! I don't care if you're related!"** I heald my breast. **Now is not the time. Especially when the devil is in the closet.**

IT WAS HARRY CYCLING POTTER! **I'm picturing Harry with a cheesy smile on a tricycle.**

"WTF R U doin here?" I gesped .**Yes, Harry, what _are _you doing?**

"Srry i was wating 4lesa so we cold have sexxq an stuff **HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU ARE A YOUNG MAN WHO HAS A FULL LIFE AHEAD OF YOU, DO NOT THROW IT AWAY, SO RUN LIKE THE WIND. **," he shrugged "hey ur livi rite!" ***facepalms* Oh, Harry, you poor naive boy.**

Ya.

"Ur pretty Hawt." **I thought you were dating Lesa...**

"Thanks." Ibrushed.

Then, ,,,HE KISSED ME.** HARRY, DON'T DO THIS. YOU DON'T WANT STD'S.**

srry rebekka i know u wanted harry **Well, that's sucky. You don't steal your best friends man.** but its part of da plot! ***whispers* it's not. She just wants to screw Harry** !VVV TELL ME WHT I THOUGHT **I think you think you are good writer. But you are wrong. Very wrong indeed.**

**A/N: I had a lot of fun with this chapter.**


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